


A second chance

by Queen_of_nothingness



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character death (but you don't see it), Divergent High School, It's kinda sad- you have been warned, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:15:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_of_nothingness/pseuds/Queen_of_nothingness
Summary: “So far, my high school experience has been pretty great: a fantastic group of friends, good grades (subject to availability). But all of that is changing. Tomorrow, instead of being exited about starting my junior year in school, I will be dreading coming home.I won’t be happy coming home to my family and discussing my day. I won’t be sitting around the table, laughing with my family.Tomorrow, my whole life is going to change.Tomorrow, my whole life is going to change.Tomorrow, I will cry myself to sleep.Tomorrow, they will unplug my brother.”Beatrice Prior is starting Junior year but is crushed with the guilt surrounding her brother's death. How will she cope navigating High School with her friends by her side and a mysterious new guy joining their year.Will she reveal the truth of her brother's death to her parents? Or will the secret destroy her?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	A second chance

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a fic that I had posted under a different name on fanfiction.net years ago. Its been deleted (as has my account) because I wasn't using it. I have changed a few things and made it better overall. Its been about... 5 years(ish) since I posted it for the first time so its quite different. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> I'll be updating the tags as I complete more chapters but this is it for now. Comments are appreciated (I would very much like to know if you want me to continue it).

**BEATRICE POV**

So far, my high school experience has been pretty great: a fantastic group of friends, good grades (subject to availability). But all of that is changing. Tomorrow, instead of being exited about starting my junior year in school, I will be dreading coming home.

I won’t be happy coming home to my family and discussing my day. I won’t be sitting around the table, laughing with my family.

Tomorrow, my whole life is going to change.

Tomorrow, my whole life is going to change.

Tomorrow, I will cry myself to sleep.

Tomorrow, they will unplug my brother.

\-------------------------------------------THE NEXT DAY-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up with a knot in my stomach. Today is the day that my brother is going to die. When my parents sat me down last month and told me, I begged them to let me go to the hospital too. They had refused, telling me that it was best I didn’t go with them, that Caleb would have wanted me to go to school. I knew they were right. Cal is a straight A student, the top of every class. He’s even President of the student body…well he was until the accident.

Eventhough I am not allowed to go with them today, I still asked if I could say goodbye before it was done. My parents said yes. So yesterday I spent hours in the hospital sitting by his bedside, the whole day really. I sat there and spoke to him. Read his favourite book to him: ‘Viking myths and sagas’. For someone who was so invested in his studies, he sure did enjoy his myths and legends. He always has.

But now I need to get ready for the day:

My brain tells me that I need to get up. Out of bed.

My heart tells me to stay here. To curl up in the sheets and cry.

 _Listen to your brain,_ says a voice in my head. But it isn’t just any voice. Its Caleb’s.

Reluctantly, I listen. I get up out of my bed and walk to the bathroom. As I brush my teeth, I look in the mirror. I take in my pale face and shallow eyes. As I stand in the shower, I think about how easy it would be to just stay here. Standing under the water.

Once I get out of the shower and dry my soaking hair I get dressed for the day. Black top, black jeans, combat boots and a leather jacket. My make up is minimal, a bit of concealer and eye-liner. I used to dress differently – greys and pinks. But what can I say? A whole year is enough time to re-invent myself.

The point is, if you saw me, you wouldn’t picture that anything was wrong. But it is. The whole day is wrong. I know I need to look ahead, like my mother always tells me. So, I run down the stairs and grab my bag from the corridor. When I get to the kitchen, my parents are already sitting there eating breakfast. My plate is already set out on the table.

Pancakes.

My eyes tear up at the sight of them. Pin pricks in my eyeballs. Its what we always eat on the first day of the new school year. I try to ignore the bittersweet feeling in the pit of my stomach. I sit down at the table and manage to quell the shaking in my hands.

My mother gives me a strained smile and places two on my plate. I try to return the smile but I know I fail. We eat breakfast in silence. After we eat, I stand and move to rinse my plate but before I can my parents engulf me in a giant hug.

“Good luck today” I tell them.

“You too darling.” -that’s mother.

“And you sweetheart”-Dad.

**TIME SKIP**

I pull into the school car park and look for a free space. My yellow mini stutters as I park in one of the last spaces available. It’s not the best car but it gets me around Chicago. It has a radio and cup holders so its ok.

After I park up, I get out and lock the doors. Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I turn around to look at the school. It’s a massive building. Concrete and tall. The entrance looks almost like it was built by the ancient Romans with its many pillars and what is almost a canopy before you reach the doors. Its like a corridor outside, perfect for strolling during breaks.

I stroll into the school and towards the front desk where I meet Ms Wu. She’s a middle-aged woman with dark hair and kind, inviting eyes. She likes everyone to call her Tori, saying that calling her Ms Wu makes her feel old.

“Here’s your timetable Tris.” She hands me a piece of paper over the desk and I immediately scan it to see where my locker is. Normally, you have the same one every year but every now and again it can change depending on the influx of new students or if homeroom has changed location.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that it is in the same place as the previous year. That means it is more than likely that everyone else has the same locker too. Its always frustrating when you have to learn where all of the new lockers are.

“Thanks Tori” I reply whilst nodding my head slightly. As I start to walk away, I feel a slight pang of guilt. I am normally a lot more talkative but I guess today it doesn’t matter. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest piece by piece.

I study my timetable as I make my way towards my locker.

  1. English – Mrs Holmann
  2. Science – Miss Matthews
  3. Lunch
  4. Art – Ms Wu
  5. History – Mr Coleman
  6. Gym – Coach Amar
  7. Free period.



Great. I can go home straight after gym. It is definitely better than using the school showers.

I check the time on my watch. 7 am.

The deed will be done at 8 pm. Just 13 hours from now.

I look up and see that I have made it to my locker. Number ten. I open it and start to sort out my things. Putting my textbooks on the shelves and my snacks in the draw at the bottom. Once all I have left in my bag is my notebooks and pencil case (and phone but nobody needs to know that), I close the door.

“Hey!” I practically jump out of my skin. Christina is leaning against the locker next to mine. She pulls me into a hug before placing me at arms-length and looking at me. “Oh,” she sighs “We’re gonna be ok. Ok?”

I look into her eyes, and for the first time today I can feel a part of me wanting to believe it. But I know I can’t. How can we be ok when Caleb is going to die? How can anything be ok ever again?

It must show on my face because Christina’s face contorts as if she is in pain and I know that she’s regretting what she just said. But I also know that she only said it to make me feel better. Also, to help herself believe it. Caleb is her friend too.

“Well, I have other news too. There’s a new guy starting today and guess what?” In true Chris fashion, she doesn’t give me a chance to reply. “He’s in our year!!”. The squealing. I forgot about the squealing. But she’s always looking on the bright side of things. And I need a little optimism today.

She puts her hand out and curls her fingers as if she is beckoning me closer, but I know what she wants and so I hand her my timetable and let her examine it.

“YAY!! We have all he same classes…well except for 7th but who cares? Seriously Tris, who cares about that?”

“No-one and inside voice Chris. Please.” My tone is half-exasperated and half-pleading.

So that’s how the day goes. Normal Chris doing normal Chris stuff. And suddenly we are sitting in lunch. It’s been a mix between the day being painstakingly slow and mind-blurringly fast.

Most of us are sitting at our normal table: Chris, Will, Marlene, Shauna, Uriah and Lynn. Everyone is eating (or starting to) but I can’t bring myself to even attempt. It was hard enough at breakfast and I still feel full after that.

Time ticks away and suddenly Zeke is sitting down with a plus one. He gives everyone a shit-eating grin and introduces his new friend: “Everyone, this is Four. My new best-bud!”

“Four, this is my girlfriend Shauna, Lynn, my younger brother Uriah, Marlene, Will, Christina and Tris.” He points to everyone in turn, introducing him to all of us.

I examine the new guy, I mean Four. A number for a name, really? I mean, I’m not going to judge but still it’s a bit weird. Anyways, he has dark hair, short at the sides but not on the top. A defined jawline that makes him look refined. He has an ocean for eyes – when I look into them, I feel as if I am lost at sea. I figure that I must have been staring for a bit too long and look away.

It seems I don’t have to worry about embarrassing myself for much longer as Uriah starts filling Four in on what happened over the summer with Will and Zeke joining in too. And by what happened, they mean all the parties they hosted and the outings we took. Yes, I did join in. It helped to ease the pain, just slightly, being surrounded by my friends. Even if they couldn’t fully understand. Even if I did go to visit the hospital every day.

Lunch started to slip by and then the inevitable happened. Everyone had been talking about their families, considering there were two sets of siblings at the table it was bound to happen.

“So what about you?” Four asked. “Any siblings … or pets or anything?” He stumbled his way through the question when I gave him a blank stare. It was apparent that I hadn’t been paying much attention to the conversation that was going on around me.

Everybody stops and looks at me. Its obvious that Uriah wants to break the tension with a joke but even he has the common sense to keep his mouth shut every once in a while. The new guy looks confused. He doesn’t know what he’s done wrong.

_Oh, if only he knew._

I get up slowly. My legs are shaking. I feel like throwing up.

I pick up my bag.

I turn around.

I walk out of the hall. I ignore the calls of Christina.

I keep walking.

I walk past the front desk.

I walk out of the school and through the car park.

I…. just sit there. In my car. I momentarily wonder what I should do. I should go back into the school. I should. That would be the right thing to do.

My mind is made up, I start the engine. I drive and drive with no particular destination in mind but once I stop the car I know where I’ve ended up. The pier. It’s where Caleb and I used to come when things got too much. Like when that distant relative died. Like when Mom and Dad started a screaming match for no apparent reason.

_A young girl and boy sit on the edge of the Pier. Their legs dangle over the side of the barrier and they peer over the edge and into the water. Both of them had been crying, that much was apparent. But the sound of the waves crashing against the sea wall, the sound of the birds chirping and trees rustling. These sounds calmed them both down._

_“Do you think they’re gonna be mad forever?” The young girl questions her older brother. She peers up at him and tilts her head to the side, almost like a puppy, waiting for him to answer. Because he always had the answers. He was wise beyond his years. He was definitely wise beyond her years eventhough there was only nine months separating them._

_“No, Beatrice. They’re not going to be mad at each other forever. Nobody can manage that.” The boy looked out at the water wistfully. “But we’re just gonna give them some space so they can work things out. And then we’ll go back home and everything will be back to normal. Ok?”_

_The girl nodded her agreement and the two sat there. Hands intertwined. Watching the water._

By the time I pull myself out of the past and look at the clock, its 7:58. Wow, I’ve been here longer than I thought.

Two minutes. 120 seconds. That’s how long he has left. The second half of myself is about to die and here I am stuck in memories as if that’s going to bring him back.

7:59.

My breath hitches. One minute left. 60 seconds.

8:00

That’s it. My brother is dead.

Logically, I know that it can take hours after the ventilator is turned off for people to die, but sometimes its only minutes. But the fact is, its done. The fact is that there is no chance whatsoever that he could come back anymore. That he could open his eyes and smile and say that its ok.

My body is racked with tears. I can’t seem to stop. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve lived with this guilt for a year now. Its too much.

I thought that, maybe, if he could wake up, he would forgive me. He could tell me that it wasn’t my fault. That it was a freak accident. But I know that isn’t true. Deep down he would know it too. But it wouldn’t matter because he would be alive and it would all be ok. Eventually.

I know that it was selfish to want him to wake up so that he could forgive me but its more than that. I wanted things to go back to the way they were. Before.

Now, that can’t happen. He’s gone. Forever. Suddenly I’m grateful that my parents wouldn’t let me go with them. I wouldn’t have been able to watch him die. I just couldn’t.


End file.
